One Year Already

I began this Mel’s Musings blog one year ago today.  Wow.  Where does the time go?  As I look back to my first blog post, I remember how open and vulnerable I felt as I typed out those first words for everyone to read.

Ninety-five blog posts later, I still feel a little vulnerable and hesitant at times when I write.  I keep moving forward and filling the pages though.  I made a promise to be real, so I try to filter very little.

My personal goals have not changed during the past year.  I thought I would be closer to reaching them, but yet I am still on the right path.  It just takes longer than I think it should.  I have come across several opportunities to slip back in to the comfortable realm of one professional job that overtakes every aspect of my life.  I have resisted.  And my income has stayed stagnant because of it.

The lack of income has made me better.  I no longer buy lots of stupid stuff I don’t really need, or even want for that matter.  I actually wear my clothing until it falls apart and take it to my sister to mend (because I don’t sew!) when something tears but is otherwise still in good condition to wear.

I anticipated a lot more free time, but I have managed to fill up my time with new things.  I have two part time jobs plus my SendOutCards venture.  And I volunteer with the local political organizations and the Red Cross.

I also babysit my niece and nephew every Friday, which has produced a weekly “Fridays with G and L” blog entry.

Life is good, but I am constantly reassessing, especially when landmark dates such as these arise.  Am I doing what I need to do today to get me to where I want to be tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year?  And most importantly, am I enjoying the journey during the meantime?

Busy-ness or mess?

I like routines.  Not monotony, but routines.  I don’t need my day planned out to the minute or even the hour, but I like to have a few general things I know I can accomplish.  For instance, blogging.  I was doing so well with posting one to four times per week, at the very least once a week.

And now it has been eight days.  OK, so I am only one day past my goal.  But this is symbolic of everything else during the past eight days.

I am a single gal, no steady guy in the picture, no kids.  Then how can I be so busy?  It’s simple.  I think that since I’m single and free I can do anything and everything.  I have lots of passions, love lots of people, and enjoy being busy.  As long as I can keep up with it all while feeling balanced and healthy, I say bring it on.

As I look down the road to a few months from now, I realize I need to start saying no.  Even for me, a self-proclaimed bold person who doesn’t worry too much about what other people think of me, this is a slowly developing skill.  I don’t allow myself to feel guilty about saying no, because doing this means I can invest more time in a few things rather than letting myself become stretched too thin.  Saying yes is just a habit, and people can be very flattering when they want you to do something.  Note to self:  keep ego in check also.

Then I must continue to say no.  It is easy for me to not run for an executive position in an organization again once my term expires, but it is much more difficult to say no to the next brand new volunteer opportunity that comes along.

My first volunteer priority is spending time with Gabriel and Lucy.  Then county political stuff.  And everything else may have to phase out, unless it’s on a short timeline.

My apartment was an absolute disaster until Tuesday evening.  Then I had enough.  It was time to clean up.  The same goes for blogging.  A mess collects in my brain if I can’t write.