Since last posting on this blog, life has been full and intense. Grieving the loss of my mom, caring for my first foster child, and navigating through my 12-year-old puggle Percy’s tumor removal process were the most stressful life events I have encountered as an adult.
Don’t get me wrong: I had some wonderful moments during the past few months also. One really discovers their true-blue friends and loyal family members during stressful life events.
And I have come through those three big events even stronger. Everything has worked out. Grieving is a natural part of life, the child is safe and in a new place, and Percy has bounced back well from his surgery. Even though I became stronger, I still needed a break.
I have known for some time that I needed to prioritize taking some real time away. However, knowing and doing are two very different actions. Life seems to always get in the way of true relaxation.
Friends in Coachella Valley had reached out to me after my mom passed away and invited me out to stay for a few days. I finally took them up on that offer in February, when I booked a flight into Palm Springs for a six-day vacation in early March.
I booked the pups for doggie daycare and boarding, took inventory of my spring-weather clothing, shopped for travel items, notified work clients, and collaborated with consulting partners so they could assist if any emergencies arose while I was away.
During this preparation process, I realized I had not been outside of the Midwest since taking a road trip to Virginia in 2019. And I had not flown anywhere since February 2018. Yikes. Even given the Covid craziness and lockdown, I was overdue.
This trip was exactly what I needed. First, the change of scenery was amazing. Flying into the Palm Springs airport provided a breathtaking view of the mountains, valleys, and palm trees. Then, upon exiting the plane outside, I felt like I was in a park when walking through the open-air airport terminal.
Second, I am a girl who needs her sunshine, and I got plenty of it in California. The weather averaged 75 degrees each day, and the sun was almost always shining.
Third, I had a six-day break from regular adulting activities! No house work, dog walking, or driving.
And finally, this trip was something for ME. It was not in any way tied to work or family obligations.
I absolutely love California and had the most amazing hosts during this trip. We were busy seeing sites, eating great food, and taking in all of the great arts, culture, and live music that Coachella Valley has to offer. I was able to wake up without an alarm every day and easily drift off to sleep in the evenings.
I arrived home refreshed and restored and was not even annoyed by the little bit of snow that fell in the Quad Cities the next day.
Thinking about that vacation? Make it happen. Book the flight and accommodations now. After that, it’s more difficult to put it off until a later date. Once I booked my flight, I knew I was finally going to take time away.
Then work like heck to make sure no one needs you when you are gone. Letting go of the day-to-day stuff is necessary if you really want to feel rested.
Finally, a few new travel discoveries – which I realize I may be behind on, but nonetheless am listing in case someone else is behind the times like I was!: Use packing cubes in your suitcase (thanks to my bestie for recommending to me!); don’t check luggage (so much easier!); and utilize all of those online and text notification tools that the airline provides.
If you would like to see my vacation photos, follow me on Instagram @melissagesing!
I have made it over one third of the way through this no TV month! Some days are still easier than others. And I am totally planning to binge on Netflix after this is all over.
A few more awesome things that have come about since I last posted:
Balcony Bliss
I am loving the warmer weather and spent most of last Wednesday out on my balcony. Since I cannot make up my mind about which patio furniture to purchase, I just hauled my living room chair out onto my balcony. This is the first time I have had a balcony in several years! Thus, the multiple mundane balcony photos.
Jag was so excited to be outdoors too. He prefers to show his excitement through lounging and napping. He loved the spot right under the makeshift patio chair.
Reading Like Crazy
I have been reading The Wall Street Journal, Time, Vogue, and my book of the month nearly every single day – all of them! No distractions, except for…
Free Fall
This Frozen Free Fall game is addictive. My goodness. The saving grace is with the limit of lives during a given time span. Of course one can purchase more lives, but I am not that hooked. Whew!
Quiet Time
Instead of waking up to the Today Show, I am waking up to the sunlight and letting my mind wind up for the day that way. Of course, I have my limits and eventually brew a pot of coffee to really start my day. Mornings can be so peaceful though!
Today is the first day of fall 2011. Woot! We might as well embrace it because fall is here whether we like it or not.
I remember moving back to Iowa just over five years ago, on September 9, 2006. While I enjoyed the Houston weather most of the time, I forgot how beautiful fall is in Iowa. The colors actually change here!
I remind myself of that when I am on a county blacktop and stuck behind farm equipment moving at 20 miles per hour. And I remind myself of the beautiful scenery even when I can’t see it while driving during early evening after we fall back to standard time.
Crisp fall air greeted me this morning as I headed out to my car, and I ran the defrost just a little bit to clear off Smurfette’s windows. There’s something cozy about being cold and then welcoming that blast of warm air.
Fall ushers in falling leaves, great football, and new episodes of my favorite TV shows. Winter is around the corner, but let’s not worry about that now. Fall is here!
Watching the snow fall (and fall, and fall…..) this morning reminds me of Christmas 2004 – one that will live in infamy.
This was my first Christmas living far away from family and enjoying palm trees. I had just moved to Houston shortly after Thanksgiving and loved it. And I was excited to be one of the cross-country travelers over the holiday, probably because I’d never done this before and was naive enough to think it would actually be fun.
My original plans were to stay in Houston for the holiday and spend Christmas Day with the Moore family, but then, as the day grew closer, I ached to be with my own family. So, I found a last-minute plane ticket to fly out of Houston on Christmas Eve morning, with a short layover in Memphis, and arrival by 5:30 p.m. in Moline. Perfect.
I anticipated a little delay in my arrival, and since I was planning to go to candlelight church service in Durant that night, I dressed up in my church clothes. I also packed all of my gifts in my carry on, because I’d rather have luggage tossed about than nice gifts ruined.
As I was waiting for my flight to depart from Houston on Christmas Eve morning, I couldn’t believe CNN was forecasting snow for Texas and Florida. I must have brought the crazy Iowa weather south with me. The Houston to Memphis leg of the flight was delayed about an hour, so when I got off the plane in Memphis, I had to run across the airport to make my connecting flight in time.
Or so I thought. Sweaty and aching from running in heels while toting my gifts, I discovered the flight was delayed two hours. I was slightly annoyed, but I could deal with it. I still had plenty of time to get home in time for church.
Then came the gate changing, and more delays, and roaming the airport to find many others in the same predicament. And those poor airport and airline employees. I hope they had some strong liquor on their breaks – if they even had breaks that day and night.
I saw CNN coverage of snow flurries in Houston and lots of snow in Brownsville. And I heard of the ice in Memphis. All of this would be a minor setback in Iowa, but with no plows in Memphis, it was catastrophic.
By about 9:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve, I accepted the reality. I was not going to be in Iowa, or anywhere in the Midwest on Christmas Eve. I looked into switching flights yet that night, renting a vehicle, or hitching a ride, all to no avail.
I called Mom and told her of the unsuccessful surprise I had planned for her, cried, called Lexi, and cried some more. I was an emotional wreck. I had never been away from home on Christmas Eve. True, I was 25 years old and a big girl, but on that night, I felt like I was a five-year-old again.
I tried to keep my spirits up as I watched people in the airport. Entire families were stranded with little kids worrying about Santa finding them. At least I just had to worry about me.
Then, some nice lady next to me told me to call the airline and beg for help. So I did, and I cried some more – not to manipulate, but because I couldn’t help but cry. The customer service rep and I compromised on a flight into Kansas City on Christmas morning. Alleluia! My best friend Jen lives in Kansas City and for the first time ever, just happened to be home during the holidays.
So, I called Jen to tell her of my huge ordeal. It took me a bit to get through to her the severity of the situation because she was out partying it up with her family on the Plaza. And then that made me cry again because I was being Debbie Downer during her fun Christmas Eve festivities.
Once Jen composed herself, she said that of course she could pick me up at the airport at 10:30 a.m. I’d be there just in time for the Miller family Christmas feast, and her mom would be excited.
You see, Jen’s mom Sandy had suggested I fly to Kansas City for Christmas when she heard of my plans a week prior. She said that way I could be with my best friend and her family and would have one short, direct flight. So Sandy got her wish.
I located a nearby Memphis hotel and found a cab to take me there, checked in, and collapsed…….in my dress clothes, with no toiletries. Nice. But I could shower in KC tomorrow.
I woke up on Christmas Day with a knot in my stomach. I was eager to get to the airport and checked in. I went to the hotel lobby to find their free shuttle service to the airport not running, due to the icy roads. The cab system was shut down for the day also. No!!!! This couldn’t be happening.
I thought about walking, but it was a good three miles, and in my high heeled boots, that wasn’t going to work. So I camped out in the lobby, and at the suggestion of the hotel staff, waited for anyone who might be going that way with a vehicle.
A family of three (one child) came downstairs and started to load up their SUV. I will never forget that SUV – a tan Jeep model with a Sooners decal on the back window. I asked the couple if they were going to the airport, they said yes, and then I asked if I could get a ride with them. I told them I could pay them too. They said no! And the reason: They didn’t have enough room. Are you kidding me?! They had one little boy, and hardly any cargo.
As I watched them pull away, I realized that every good Christmas story needs a Grinch or a Scrooge, so this was merely a means to an end.
Then down the stairs came a French family of seven, all boisterous and wonderful. They were in the lobby less than two minutes when the mom came over and asked (in English) if I was waiting for someone. I told her I needed a ride to the airport (not even expecting or asking for their help), and she said they’d be happy to give me a ride.
So, I crammed in with this huge family, who clearly didn’t have any extra room for an Iowa girl, but they made room for me. It was all I could do not to cry during that 15 minute ride.
I checked in at the airport and had a celebratory Starbucks. Merry Christmas to me!
Then, about halfway through my latte, they changed gates on me. Careful not to spill my precious drink, I rushed across the airport with about 30 others. Whew. That was close. We boarded the plane, and it was surreal. I was finally back on a plane and headed to the Midwest!
Ha ha. Not so fast. I sat in that plane for nearly an hour while the crew de-iced it. By the time we were in the air, I was worried the plane was doomed to crash. It just seemed too much like the day Patsy Cline took off in a plane and it crashed in the movie Sweet Dreams. OK, so this was a bigger plane and we had no mountains. I was going to be fine. This Christmas craziness was turning me into a drama queen.
Jen, bless her soul, was waiting for me at the KCI airport when I arrived over an hour late. Again, I cried.
And then the search for my luggage proved unsuccessful. I shouldn’t have been surprised. But yet I felt robbed. After all I had been through, I wanted my luggage. That’s what I asked for by not taking a carry on with the necessities though.
My lifesaver and best friend Jen
Jen’s home was a sight for sore eyes. I ate some fabulous Christmas food, after taking a long shower and borrowing some clothing from Rachel (Jen’s sister, who by the way, had no flight problems).
Addison modeling her boa, with Nina looking on
Jen’s family was already like a second family to me before that day, but I appreciated them even more after that Christmas. Dan and Sandy took me back to Iowa with them on the day after Christmas. They even claimed me as someone they knew when they swung by to see relatives in southern Iowa on the way home. I was quite a site with my hodge podge of borrowed clothes and my high heeled, knee high black boots.
Dan, Rachel & Brian playing Christmas Day games
While this Christmas story had a pretty happy ending, I still had moments on Christmas Day when I ached to be with my own family and doing the things we always did together on Christmas Day. After all, that vision prompted me to buy the last-minute plane ticket.
I wanted to do what I always did, but sometimes we need to start new traditions. And often those new traditions are not started by choice and we fight them. Reflecting back on Christmas 2004, I now realize being away from my own family that year was a good thing. I was forced to accept that we can celebrate in more than one way, with a variety of people.
My luggage arrived in Moline – three days after Christmas.
Finally reunited with my luggage!
During my 2005 travels back to Iowa, I shipped the presents ahead of time and had a carry on with all of the essentials. I also wore sweatpants – just in case. Of course everything went smoothly then.
Upon hearing this story, various people suggested I watch The Terminal with Tom Hanks. After watching the movie a few months later, it definitely put my Christmas 2004 airport issues into perspective.
This year I am staying in the town of Durant during Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and the day after Christmas. I know cross country Christmas travels will be in my future, so I am savoring the low-key Christmas this year. But then again, a lack of craziness doesn’t give us as much to talk about the next year.
It’s definitely cold outside – in the negatives this evening. It must be winter, and it must be Iowa. Based on small talk these days though, you’d think these low temps and snow were something new and we lived further south.
Iowans like to talk about the weather. It’s an ice breaker, small talk, stuff to fill the awkward pauses. I’m pretty sure I get that and can accept it.
But why all of the complaining about the weather? It’s December, and it’s Iowa: not Texas, not California, not Hawaii, not the South American jungle. Iowa. I-O-W-A. Even in October we could have expected this.
I don’t love this bitter, extreme, cold weather, and I don’t expect others to love it either. In fact, I used to grumble every winter too. I just ask that we all tolerate it because it’s part of Iowa. And guess what? We CHOOSE to live here. So suck it up, kiddos.
I will allow one mildly negative comment when it’s below zero for a week straight. Or when it’s April and snowing. Otherwise, let’s look at the glass half full. Winter is the perfect time to stay in and be lazy, eat a little more, drink extra coffee (!), snuggle up to those we love, snowmobile, and build snowmen.
While I’m not always a ray of sunshine, I do try to take a deep breath and look at my alternatives: live in cold and be close to my adorable nephew, or live on a beach and rarely see my nephew. Hmmm. For now, I’ll deal with the cold. In a few years, Gabriel will be old enough to visit me on the beach…..and fetch me a cocktail.
Mel's Musings 