Arnold, Tiger, and the Likes of You

Arnold and Maria are the latest in a slew of marriages ended in infidelity and scandal.  No doubt this has been going on for centuries.  It just seems more prevalent now with our 24 hour news cycle.

I will be the last to pass judgment on others’ actions because there is often more to the story than we will ever know.  I don’t believe affairs happen overnight, and we all sin – just in different ways.  Mistakes happen.

But what about the cases when it’s more than one mistake and fooling around appears to be in the DNA of some men?  Why haven’t these men learned not to marry in the first place?  And were signs present to warn their wives that they couldn’t stay faithful?

It seems that society tells all men and women we need to get married after a certain amount of time dating because it’s the right thing to do.  But maybe not.  I am not only picking on men.  Some women should never get married either.

I have heard more than one man describe the marriage step in terms of owing it to the partner, being the right thing to do, a logical choice.  That may be so, as long as plenty of love goes along with it.  Otherwise, these men and women need to acknowledge they are doing a disservice to their partners if they continue to hold them captive by thinking they can do what is right for both of them.

And what about the partner who is portrayed as the victim?  I am guessing the victim title is worthy about 50 percent of the time.  I have also seen partners of the unfaithful turn a blind eye because at the time it seems easier than confrontation and the inevitable whirlwind of change to come.

I have made my fair share of mistakes in relationships, but I have never been married.  While my parents are divorced, they both remarried and seem to be happy.  And my sister and brother-in-law constantly remind me through example that marriage can still work today.

But I am also OK with not being married, if it means avoiding all of this mess.

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3 thoughts on “Arnold, Tiger, and the Likes of You

  1. I’m going to take issue with your third paragraph where you talk about cheating being in the DNA of many men. I wish you’d mentioned that it also seems to be in the DNA of many women. I have never cheated on a partner, but have been the “piece on the side” several times. And in fact, I know more women who have cheated on their partners than men.

    I’m not saying men don’t cheat. They do. But I think you owe it to the good guys of the world – a crowd of which I proudly count myself a part – to acknowledge that cheating is hardly a male-only thing. You do it to a point in the fourth paragraph where you state some women should never get married. I just wish you’d made a specific mention of women when it came to cheating. But I’m nit-picky.

    However, you say it very nicely when you talk about society telling us we “should” get married at a certain point in the dating cycle. I’ve always hated that logic and it definitely played a part in breaking up my last relationship. But that’s ok. Better to end it than to do something I’m not ready to do.

    1. Thanks for your insight, Bill! I agree with your take on women cheating. As a straight woman, my take is obviously biased toward my own experiences. 😉 I do realize good guys are out there, and props to you for being one of them.

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